Kenny McKormick Is A Whore
by King Koi
Summary: Kenny McKormick has always been quite the pervert. But what happens when he starts using his knowledge on his classmates? And charges them for it? How will this affect his friendship and those around him? Butters is in there too. Read and review. T for strong language and mild sexual content.
1. Chapter 1: Butters

**Author's Note: This story is basically an idea that popped into my head one day. Enjoy. South Park and characters do not belong to me.**

It was just another cold, wintry day in the little Podunk town of South Park. At the South Park school, the day had just ended and best friends, Stan and Kyle approached their good friend Kenny McKormick, who was putting things away into his cesspool of a locker.

"Hey Kenny." Stan greeted.

"Oh, hey Stan." Kenny muffled through his hoodie.

"Stan, Cartman, and I are going to throw rocks at cars today from up on the hilltop. You wanna tag along?" Kyle asked.

"Sorry. Can't." Kenny muffled, zipping up his old and tattered backpack. "I'm hanging out with Butters after school today."

Stan and Kyle looked at each other in surprise. "Butters?" Stan asked. Kenny nodded.

"Why are you hanging out with him?" Kyle asked, still kind of shocked. The boys stared across the busy hall at Butters, who was still putting things into his backpack. Butters was really cute, yeah. But, he was really lame. He was a bit of a pussy too. He caught the three staring and a sweet smile spread across his face. "Hey fellas!" he exclaimed, waving happily. "Ready for our play date Kenny?"

Kenny smiled nervously and slightly waved back. "Mm-hmm." he mumbled, embarrassed. Stan and Kyle looked back at Kenny.

"Play date?" Stan repeated, stifling laughter.

"So, it's like that, huh?" Kyle said, grinning like a jackass.

"Fuck off, you guys." Kenny scowled through his hoodie. "We're just cool like that. We can hang together on Saturday."

"Ok, have fun on your date." Stan teased. And with that, Stan and Kyle strolled away, snickering together.

_ Assholes. _Kenny thought, watching them leave. He turned and walked across the hall to a waiting Butters. "Ready to go Kenny?" he asked in an excited tone. Butters was just like a puppy. He was always so excited to hang out with...well, just about anyone. But, he thought Kenny was _so _cool, the coolest kid in school. Even more so than Craig! It just made Butters so happy to know that he was hanging out with someone so cool! Kenny nodded and they exited the school building.

They arrived at Butters' house and Butters ran straight for the couch. "Come on, Kenny! Terrance and Phillip is gonna be on soon!" he announced, grabbing the remote. Kenny set his backpack sown by the door and sat next to his giddy companion. He was excitedly swinging his legs back and forth as he flipped through the channels. "My parents aren't gonna be home for at least an hour and a half! So, we can do what we want until then!" he informed Kenny, setting the remote down.

Kenny was glad. Butters' parents were idiotic assholes. They grounded poor Butters over little, stupid things and he actually believed that he deserved the punishment. Kenny pitied Butters honestly.

Terrance and Phillip finally came on and the next 15 minutes was filled with nothing but fart jokes and hysterical laughter. When they went to commercial break, it started showing movie trailers for adult movies that had a lot of sex in it. As usual. Kenny was used to sex and things like that so, he casually looked on. He was _so _used to sex, he barely noticed it.

Suddenly, he heard Butters say, "Whoa. What's going on down there?" Kenny's head snapped in Butters' direction and he was Butters looking down between his legs.

_Is he getting a...? _Kenny's thoughts trailed off as he leaned a bit forward to look in Butters' lap. And sure enough, there was a little tent growing right between his legs.

Kenny sat back in disbelief. He looked at Butters, then between legs, and back to Butters. Getting turned on by 10 seconds of sex on T.V. Kenny tried his hardest not to burst out laughing and turned back to the T.V. The adult trailers kept coming and coming. It's like all R-rated movies promoted was sex. And explosions.

With each passing commercial, Butters fidgeted more and more in his seat and became more restless. "You want me to take care of that for you?" he muffled.

"What was that Kenny?" Butters asked, finally looking away from the screen. He never really got the hang of "Kenny speech". Kenny took off his hood, revealing his messy golden hair. It looked so soft, Butters always wanted to know what it would feel like. His cheeks were flushed from being in that hot hoodie all day but, it only made him look prettier.

"I said," Kenny began, sounding a lot more clearly. "do you want me to take care of that for you?"

"What? You mean my willy?" asked Butters, truly confused. Kenny was quiet for a bit and then said a casual, "Yeah." Butters eyes seemed to sparkle as he said, "You're a real pal, Kenny!"

Kenny held up a mittened hand. "10 for handjobs, 20 for blowjobs, and 40 for rides."

Butters just stared at the boy. "Uh, w-what?" he stuttered. Kenny repeated his sentence but, added the word "dollars".

Butters continued staring, still confused. "Hand...job? Blowjob?" he question, squinting.

Kenny had to stifle back more laughter. When he calmed down, he explained to his naïve friend what they meant, causing Butters' face to turn a bright red.

"I'll go find some money!" Butters exclaimed, jumping off the couch and bounding up the stairs. Butters rummaged through his room, looking for any bill or coin he could find. After about three minutes, Butters running back down the stairs with some money in hand.

"I...I managed to find $9.50!" he said, out of breath. Kenny stared at Butters, then back at the money. "Close enough." he said, taking it. Butters' face lit up. "Sit on the couch." Kenny ordered. Butters bounced onto the big, green couch and wiggled his pants off.

Kenny knelt on the floor before him and removed his "Red Racer" underwear, which was Craig's favorite show. Butters' penis was small. Like, really small. At least to Kenny. Only about 3 inches? Maybe? Kenny removed his gloves, revealing his small, white hands. He gripped Butters roughly.

"Whoa! Be careful down there." Butters warned, his cheeks glowing red. But, still, Kenny's hands were very soft.

Then, Kenny proceeded to do what he saw the ladies do in those pornos he stole from his parents' room. He watched Butters' hands clench and relax with each stroke. When his breathing started to quicken, he knew Butters was close, so he went a little faster. Finally, a bunch of white and creamy stuff started leaking from Butters in buckets and he seemed to be holding his breath.

"Gross." Kenny muttered, as Butters creamy shit continued to flow out and spill onto the carpet. When Butters finally relaxed, Kenny took his hand away, which was sticky from Butters' cum.

"Gee whiz!" Butters beamed. "You made all of my creamy gooey goodness come out!" Kenny gave Butters an unamused look. Butters was such a naïve kid, but that just added to his charm. Kenny strolled into the kitchen and started washing Butters' cum off of his hand.

"Man, we got some of the goo on the couch a-and on the carpet." Kenny heard his friend say behind him. "My parents are gonna be awful sore!"

Kenny threw some carpet cleaner and paper towels in Butters' direction. He caught the carpet cleaner, but dropped the paper towels. After washing his hands and listening to Butters ramble on as he cleaned up the mess, Kenny decided it was time for him to leave.

"Where are you goin', Kenny?" Butters asked from the couch.

"I better get going." he replied, putting his gloves back on. "Gotta make sure my parents aren't trying to kill my brother and sister again."

"W-well, you'll be back to play again soon, right?" Butters asked, fidgeting with his hands.

"Of course." Kenny replied, putting on his backpack. "We hang out like at least once a month anyways,"

"A-and you'll play with my willy too?" Butters asked with no shame. Kenny stared at him for a bit. "Sure." he answered, putting his hood back on and opening the front door. Butters waved goodbye after him.

"If you have money." Kenny muttered as he closed the door.

**Author's Note: More to come. Stick around.**


	2. Chapter 2: Craig

**Author's Note: To those who have to decided to continue reading, thank you. I'll try to update weekly. Here's chapter 2. South Park and Characters do not belong to me.**

Chapter 2: Craig

The next day was a Wednesday and Kenny walked into school with...a brand new backpack! "Hey guys." Kenny greeted his friends as he strolled into the classroom.

"Hey, Kenny." Stan, Kyle, and Cartman replied. They stared at Kenny for a little bit. "What?" he muffled, sitting down.

"Dude, where did you get that new backpack?" Kyle asked, eyeing it. "Yeah," Cartman agreed. "Your family can't even afford running water. Where the fuck did you find money for a new backpack?"

"Umm..."Kenny said, looking off to the side, as if he'd find an answer there. He didn't want them to he actually volunteered to touch Butter's wiener. And then get paid for it! "I...I mugged someone." he stammered out.

"I don't believe that." Stan said. Stan was always that blunt, skeptical guy.

"Look, it doesn't matter where I got the money from." Kenny said in an irritated tone. "All that matters is that I got this awesome new backpack! Don't fucking question it."

"Ok geez, Kenny. Chill." Kyle said, holding up his hands in defense. Soon after, class began. Stan and Kyle looked at each other. They knew something was a bit off about Kenny today.

Lunch time rolled around and all of the boys were enjoying their meal, talking and laughing about whatever. Soon, Butters skipped into the cafeteria. "Hey fellas!" he exclaimed, sitting next to Craig, across from Kenny.

"Hey Butters..." everyone mumbled. His sea green eyes darted in Kenny's direction, which made him jump a little.

"Kenny! Wanna come over today?!" Butters asked, a little too loudly. Everyone was staring at Kenny now. He quickly swallowed the food that was in his mouth. "Uh, can't." he answered, looking down.

Butters pouted. "W-why not?"

"I'm going to Craig's house."

Craig's head snapped up from his cellphone. "What?"

"Yeah, Craig. Remember? We were gonna watch 'Red Racer' together." Kenny muffled with a strained expression. Everyone was staring at Craig now. Embarrassed and confused, Craig ruffled his hair through his hat and looked back down at his phone. "Yeah." was all he said.

"Since when did you and Craig start hanging out?" Stan asked.

"Since whenever I want to." Kenny replied. Stan looked at Kyle. He just shrugged and continued eating their lunch. The other boys could sense a change in Kenny as well. Butters was still pouting as he ate his PB and J.

Finally, the school day was over and Kenny went looking for Craig immediately. He didn't want Butters to find out that he was lying. It would break his fragile little heart. After a few minutes of searching, Kenny found Craig smoking behind the school.

"Hey." Kenny spoke. Craig didn't hear him. He had his earbuds blasting rock music into his ears. Kenny pulled one out and Craig stared at him, startled.

"Huh?" was all he said.

"Are we going?" Kenny asked, tilting his head.

"Oh, you were serious?" he asked, putting the cigarette between his lips.

"Yeah! Of course." Kenny said, stealing Craig's pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. Craig gave him a strange look. Kenny and Craig almost never hang out. Except at lunch and sometimes when they were in the same group for a project or something. But, Craig didn't question it.

He put his phone into his pocket and said, "Alright. Let's go." Kenny followed closely behind him.

Kenny and Craig were both considered cool by their classmates. At least a little, but they were like two different kinds of cool. Like different personalities. That's why you wouldn't see them chilling together often. But when they did, they got along pretty well. So, it wasn't like they hated each other or anything.

They arrived at the Tucker house and went straight up to Craig's room to watch "Red Racer". They sat on the bed and watched it quietly. Craig was still smoking so, Kenny decided to do it as well. He didn't smoke as much as Craig, so when he did, he still coughed a lot.

"Take it easy." Craig said, eyes still on the T.V. Kenny just nodded. He peeked at Craig out of the corner of his eye.

Kenny thought Craig was pretty attractive, for a dork who enjoyed "Red Racer" so much. _I wouldn't mind blowing him. _Kenny thought, looking back at the screen. Commercials.

Almost as if Craig read his mind, he said, "Butters told me what happened yesterday."

Kenny felt his heart race. He stared at Craig with wide eyes.

"Said you gave him a handjob for $10." he continued. It took Kenny a while to process what he had said. _Fucking Butters. _Kenny thought.

"W-who else did he tell?" Kenny muffled, starting to sweat in his hot parka.

"As far as I know, he only told me." he answered, casually. Kenny looked at the floor, then back at Craig, trying to find an explanation.

Before Kenny could say anything, Craig said, "I have a 20."

It was quiet for quite some time before Kenny asked, "You want me to give you a blowjob?"

"Yeah." he was answering like this was totally normal. "It's 20, right?" Kenny nodded, slowly. Craig walked across the room and pulled out $20 out from one of his drawers. He handed the money to Kenny and sat on the edge of the bed. "Well?"

Craig was looking at him so seriously. Craig never jokes around so... With his heart pounding, Kenny removed his hoodie and knelt before Craig. He was still smoking, so, as Kenny was unbuckling his pants, he was starting to feel dizzy.

"Could you stop smoking for a second?" Kenny asked him, irritated. Craig put out his cigarette and waited as Kenny continued.

So, Kenny remembered back to the pornos as he sucked on Craig's dick. He was a bit bigger than Butters, but not by much. Kenny felt Craig start to pull on his hair, which freaked him out a little but he continued. Soon, Craig was cumming and Kenny's first instinct was to spit it out, but then he remembered a part where the girl swallowed the guy's cum. And he really liked that! So, Kenny followed suit.

He heard Craig gasp and whisper, "Shit." When Kenny was finished, he wiped the spit and cum from his mouth.

"Did you...just swallow my cum?" Craig asked, lurid.

"Yeah," Kenny replied, dusting his pants off, for the floor was a bit dirty.

Craig nodded slowly. "Nice..." was all he said, and they continued watching "Red Racer". When it was over, Kenny stretched and yawned, "It's been fun."

"Yep." Craig said, lighting another cigarette. "We should hang out again some time."

"Yeah," Kenny agreed. "See ya, Craig."

"Bye." Craig said as Kenny closed the door behind him. He proceeded down the stairs and out the front door. Kenny was super happy. Peeps were paying him to mess with their dicks! Kenny didn't really mind at all. As long as he got money. Kenny wouldn't mind doing this for the rest of his life.

**Authors Note: Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more.**


	3. Chapter 3: Clyde

**Authors Note: I'm so glad peeps are enjoying my story. Just makes me want to write more! This is where the plot of the story starts to develop a bit more and stuff... crossdressing ahead.**

Chapter 3: Clyde

That Friday, Kenny came to school and for once, he didn't smell like shit. He smelled...kinda nice. Like cherries. And he was happier than usual too. He was beaming almost throughout the entire day.

During class, Butters randomly asked, "Hey, what smells like cherries?" Kyle was sitting next to Kenny, so he could answer that.

"It's...it's Kenny." Kyle stuttered, barely believing himself.

"What's the deal, Kenny?" Cartman spoke up, "Since when could your broke-ass family afford soap?"

Kenny glared at him and muffled something angrily that no one caught.

"Hey, whatever man. At least he doesn't smell like shit." Stan snickered.

"Yeah. Now he's actually bearable to be around." Kyle retorted and then he and his two friends went into a fit of giggles. Kenny didn't mind much. They always made fun of one another.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kenny caught Token, Tweek, and Clyde staring at him. He ignored the three at first and focused on his work. 5 minutes later, they were still eyeing him. Kenny gave a small, awkward wave. Token was the only one who actually waved back. Tweek let out a small "Ah!" and went back to the worksheet and Clyde continued to stare. _Weirdo, _Kenny thought.

During lunch, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman didn't even get a chance to be near Kenny. He was surrounded. By girls.

"Wow, Kenny! You smell so nice!" Red said, admiring the scent.

"Yeah! What soap do you use?" Nicole asked, stroking Kenny's left arm. He was estatic.

"Ladies, ladies, please." he muffled, holding up both hands. "One at a time." And that put the girls into giggle fits.

"Lucky fucker." Stan muttered, jealous of Kenny's new found popularity.

A little after recess started, Kenny found Butters in the bathroom.

"Hey, Kenny!" he chirped, zipping up his pants.

"Hi Butters!" Kenny replied, stepping towards the sinks.

"Wanna come over and play with my willy today?"

Kenny started washing his hands. "You got cash?" he asked.

Butters' face fell a little. "Well, no." he began. "I spent it all on you on Tuesday."

Kenny sighed. "I'm sorry, dude. If you want me to play with your...willy, your gonna need at least $10." He used the paper towels to dry his hands. "But, we can hang out next weekend, ok dude?" with that, Kenny left the bathroom.

At recess, Kenny was chatting it up with his friends, when Clyde came along.

"Hey, Kenny." Clyde spoke up. They stopped right in the middle of their conversation and Kenny stared back at Clyde. His three peeps were looking at him now.

"Oh. Hey, Clyde." was all he said. Kenny and Clyde didn't talk much so, it was a bit odd for him.

"Go away Clyde! We're in the middle of something important!" Cartman barked.

"Shut up, fatass!" Clyde snapped back. "I'm trying to talk to Kenneth."

Stan and Kyle looked at each other. Peeps rarely called Kenny, "Kenneth".

"Oh! Uh, ok!" Kenny said, following Clyde away from the other boys.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Kyle remarked.

"Yeah, suddenly, everyone wants to hang out with Kenny. But he's _our _friend!" Stan added. Kyle agreed.

"Maybe Kenny has a new video game or something better." Cartman said, almost to himself. "Maybe that's why everyone's sucking his balls."

"Maybe..." Stan and Kyle said in unison.

Clyde and Kenny were standing near the double doors that led back into the school.

"What's up?" Kenny asked, having a pretty good idea of what he wanted to ask him.

Clyde looked back at his friends for a second. Craig, Tweek, and Token were talking and laughing about something.

"I'll cut to the chase." Clyde said, hushed. "Did you really blow Craig for a 20? Or was he bluffing?"

Kenny looked straight into Clyde's forest green eyes and said, "No, it's the truth."

The brun was silent for a sec. "Whoa." was all he said.

"Yeah." Kenny agreed. Clyde's face quickly turned red in a short span of ten seconds before he asked, "What will $30 get me?"

Kenny smirked under his hoodie. He saw this coming from a mile away. "Three handjobs," Kenny said, holding up three fingers and he thought for a second. "or...a blowjob with an outfit of choice~."

Clyde gulped, leaned closer to Kenny and whispered, "C-can you come over dressed as Princess Kenny for me?" Kenny nodded.

Clyde rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a small slip of paper.

"This is my address," he whispered. "After you change at home, meet me at my house. After school." Kenny nodded again and they departed. By then, the bell for classes had rung.

After school, Kenny rode the bus home, like normal, so Stan, Kyle, or Cartman wouldn't think anything was up.

"So, what did Clyde want?" Kyle asked Kenny, as they walked home.

"Nothing much," Kenny muffled, casually. "He was just...asking me a question."

"Oh," Stan uttered. "What was the question?"

"Why do you care?" Kenny asked.

"Because everybody has been sucking your balls lately, Kenny!" Cartman spoke up. "And we want to know what's up!"

Kenny felt a tinge of panic at "sucking your balls" and he furrowed his brow." Damn, you guys are nosy!" he muffled angrily. "Look, I'm tired. I'll see you guys tomorrow." He crossed the train tracks and went into the little shack Kenny called home.

"Bitch." Cartman muttered, before they left for their own homes.

A few minutes later, Princess Kenny stepped out of the McKormick home.

"Where do you think you're going?!" someone screamed after him. Kenny turned and saw his mom with a cigarette in the doorway.

"Oh uh..." he stuttered. "I'm going to a friends house."

She puffed out smoke and said, "No, you're not! You're supposed to clean the dog shit out of the front yard!"

"Fuck you, mom! I'll do it when I get back!" Kenny hollered back, sprinting across the train tracks. When he was safe out of the ghetto, he fixed his wig, dusted off his dress and continued towards Clyde's house, walking in a dainty fashion.

He only had to knock once before it swung open.

"Princess Kenny!" Clyde said, in a fake surprised tone. "What a pleasant surprise! Do! Come in!"

Princess Kenny gave a fake giggle, curtsied, and entered the house. Clyde led him up to his room and locked the door.

"Money first." Kenny demanded, holding out his gloved hand. Clyde dug around in his pocket and handed him the $30, and Kenny got down to business.

The situation was almost the same as when he went to Craig's house, only instead of pulling his hair, Clyde was stroking his head. Almost like petting it. Kenny thought that was pretty weird too but, he ignored it. When Clyde came, he came a lot. Kenny almost spit it out, but he kept thinking back to that porno and he wanted to stick by it.

When Kenny was finished he looked up at Clyde and...what the hell? He had fallen asleep. How rude! He'll probably never get another blowjob in his life! Kenny stared at him in disbelief. He pulled his underwear and pants back on for him, just in case his parents would burst in later, and silently floated out of the house, like a ghost, and proceeded back down the street.

At the Marsh house, Stan was doing his homework as usual. While finishing a math problem, something out the window caught his eye. He moved towards it and saw Kenny rushing back home in a big purple and white dress. "Kenny?!" Stan exclaimed, not believing his eyes. No one was playing "Game of Thrones" that day.

**Authors Note: More chapters ahead. Thanks for reading! (btw if you guys have any requests for me about any stories to write in general, I'm all for it. Just PM me. Thanks.)**


	4. Chapter 4: Bebe

**Author's Note: Thanks so much for all the reviews! Makes me so happy peeps are liking this. Anyway, I know most peeps stuck around for Kenny being with guys but you can't ****_really _****be a whore unless you sleep with both genders. So...yeah. There's this chapter. South Park and Characters do not belong to me.**

Chapter 4: Bebe

That weekend, Kenny had a terrible stomach ache. It must've been all of that disgusting cum he swallowed last week. He calls it gross, but it doesn't really taste like anything.

He just laid in bed for a little bit, groaning in pain until a tapping came at his window. "Kenny!" he heard someone whisper. He got up from his bed, moved the old tattered blinds out of the way and saw Butters standing outside of his broken window.

"Wha-? Butters!" Kenny said, surprised, sticking his head through the broken glass. "What are you doing here? It's like 9 in the morning!"

"Yeah, I know." Butters admitted. "But I got my allowance last night and I was hoping you could play with my wiener today!"

Kenny sighed a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead. He was tired from "having sex" all week. "You got $10?" he asked anyways.

Butters slowly counted the bills. "I only got $6." he answered.

Kenny retreated his head back into the house and said, "Come back next week then."

"But I can't wait that long!" Butters moaned. "I-I really enjoyed having you touching my wienie!"

Kenny shook his head. "Sorry, Stotch. $10 or more. Just, like, ask for a raise or get a job or something."

"Darn it, Kenny!" Butters suddenly hollered, stomping his sneakers into the snow. "Why won't you just give me a freebie?"

Kenny made a face and then relaxed. "This is my job." he said, simply. "I gotta eat and feed my brother and sister."

Butters cooled down. "Aw, geez Kenny." Butters muttered, looking down. "I'm sorry for-for hollerin' at ya. I just really enjoyed having my wiener rubbed, that's all."

"It's ok Butters." Kenny replied, with forgiveness in the tone of his voice. "Come back with the money and I'll make you feel real good!"

"Ok!" Butters chimed, scurrying off. Immediately, Kenny flopped back into his bed.

An hour and a half later, Kenny woke up to his ringing cellphone. He groaned and answered it.

"Hello?" he slurred into the phone.

"Hey Kenny." it was Stan.

"Stan. Hi." Kenny murmured, his eyes closed.

"Kyle, Cartman, and I are heading into town today." he continued. "And you said you'd hang today. Are you free?"

"Oh, sorry Stan. I can't today." Kenny moaned into the phone. "My tummy hurts. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Stan felt his ears turning a bright red. Kenny sounded like he was having sex over the phone or something. Kyle, who was sitting in Stan's room with him, noticed this reaction. He gave him a strange look. Stan cleared his throat, turning away from Kyle.

"Uh, why does your stomach hurt?...Kenny?" Stan dared to ask. Kenny has been so irritated with questions lately.

"Must've...been something I ate." Kenny was barely audible. He was falling back asleep.

"Um, aright." Stan decided to let it go. " See ya Monday, Kenny."

"Mm-hmm." was all Kenny said before Stan ended the call. He turned back around and found Kyle staring at him. They stared at each other for a little bit before Kyle spoke up. "Well?"

"Huh?" Stan said, as if he was waking up. Kenny's voice was so soothing.

"Can Kenny come or not?"

"Oh yeah. He said he has a stomachache."

"Bullshit." Kyle declared. "We've seen that kid eat his own vomit. He's got, like, a stomach of steel!"

"Yeah, well. Things happen." Stan shrugged.

"No." Kyle said, standing up. "Kenny has been acting strangely since Tuesday. Something _has _to be up. As his friends, we have the right to find out what it is."

Stan usually wasn't the one to pry, but he agreed anyways. Kenny wasn't acting like his usual happy, lovable, self. He was acting like a bitch because he got new soap or something and he started to avoid them more and more. Starting from Monday, they'd be keeping a much closer eye on the blonde boy.

Monday rolled around and Kenny walked into class with more smugness in the air than on Friday. Not only did he have a cool new backpack, and smell like cherries, but now he had a new pair of boots! They looked a lot like his old pair, only they were clean and more durable to the harsh climates of Colorado.

"Guys." Kenny greeted as he took a seat.

"Kenny." Stan, Kyle, and Cartman replied. Ok, suspicious activity #1. All of Kenny's new shit. The three boys knew that his family was the poorest of South Park. So, where was all of this coming from? Kyle was taking these notes carefully in his head.

Now, not only were the boys of the class staring at Kenny during the day, but so were the girls. Not giggly like on Friday. but intense staring. Like what the boys had been doing all week.

When it was time for their lunch break, the kids headed to their lockers to grab their lunches or lunch money. Kenny was rummaging for his lunch bag when he someone behind him.

"Um, Kenny?" It was a cute feminine voice. Kenny whirled around and saw Bebe. The blonde beauty of the class.

"Hey Bebe!" Kenny's smile was sweet, but he was hoping that he'd get to do sex stuff with her.

Bebe smiled back. "Hi Kenny. Can I ask you a big favor?" She was pushing him towards the end of the hallway, away from the others.

Kenny's eyes grew wide and his heart sped up. "Yeah! Anything!" he said, almost too eagerly.

"Ok so," she began. "Craig told Tweek, who told Clyde, who told Token, who told Nicole, who told Red, who told Wendy, who told _me, _that you're giving out sex for money."

Kenny's eyes sparkled. "I sure am!" he answered her.

"Yes!" Bebe whispered, stomping her red heels giddily. "Alright. My parents are going out for dinner at 5 tonight. Come to my house then. I have $20 left over from my shopping spree last week." She stroked Kenny's chest. "See you at 5!" Then she ran down the hall, towards her friends.

Kenny felt hotter than usual under that orange parka. Sure, the boys in his class were pretty attractive too. But they could never match the appeal of Bebe! A _girl! _Kenny almost skipped to the cafeteria.

Lunch was pretty chill today, except for the the louder-than-usual giggles coming from the the girls table and Butters' bitter expression. He kept sighing and sighing until Kyle finally just had to ask.

"What's wrong, Butters?" Kyle asked, not genuinely curious.

"Oh, well..." Butters started, fidgeting his hands. "My parents got mad at me because I forgot to close the cereal box after I was done with it an-and then they grounded me! I wish there was something...or someone that could cheer me up." Butters glanced in Kenny's direction.

Kenny put his hand over Butters' and whispered, "$10." Butters suddenly got up from the table, as though he has forgotten something. When he was halfway across the cafeteria Butters shouted, "Mark my words, Kenny McKormick! I will find the last $4 and get you to rub my wiener again!" and with that, he ran out of the room.

The other kids in the cafeteria didn't really notice or pay attention to what Butters said or meant because they had no idea who Kenny McKormick was. But all the boys at the table did. And they heard every last word.

Craig, Clyde, Tweek, and Token just sort of looked at each other. Stan and Kyle turned towards Kenny with their mouths agape, while Cartman was choking on a cheesy poof.

The table was silent for a little while longer before Stan said, "Uh, what?"

Kenny felt like he was on fire inside that damn hoodie. _That damn Butters. _Kenny thought, really irritated now. _Maybe we shouldn't hang out every month anymore._

"You touched Butters' dick?" Kyle asked, pulling Kenny out of his thoughts.

"No." he answered, immediately. "I mean, it's Butters. He's always saying stupid stuff. He's crazy."

Stan looked across the table at the 5 other peeps. Craig and his crew seemed to be paying no mind, but Jimmy was just as confused as they were.

Kyle took notice to their reactions. They knew what was up. Except for Jimmy, he concluded. Jimmy was still very lost, but he could sense the strong tension.

When the day was over, the boys trekked home like normal from the bus stop. They said goodbye to Kenny, not wanting to bring up what happened at lunch, for the three of them were heading for Kyle's house to discuss in private.

"I think it's safe to assume what's happening here." Stan said, as they entered Kyle's room.

"Yep." Cartman jumped in. "Kenny steals money from people. Then, he sexually assaults them."

"No, you fat fuck!" Kyle snapped.

"Fuck you!" Cartman snapped back.

"Kenny is prostituting himself!" Stan said quickly, before the two could continue arguing.

"That's what it sounds and looks like." Kyle agreed. "But, we _really _gotta make sure that's the case. We can't just jump to conclusions."

"Didn't you fucking hear what Butters said in the cafeteria?" Cartman asked, giving Kyle a look. "He mentioned money and his dick!"

"But Kenny's right." Stan pointed out. "Remember that time when Butters said that he danced with Biggie Smalls at Satan's Halloween bash?"

"Oh, yeah..."Kyle and Cartman mused, remembering. Butters was such a bad liar.

"The best thing to do now is, just confront Kenny." Kyle suggested. "But not all at once. One on one with one of us. I feel like if it was in a quiet and calm environment, he'll be more likely to come clean."

"Check out Kyle." Cartman mocked. "He's suddenly a fucking psychologist."

Before Kyle could reply, Stan said, "I'll talk to him. Tomorrow at my house after school."

Kyle and Cartman nodded. "He just has to understand how dangerous this is and he could get into some serious trouble with the law." Kyle concluded, dramatically looking out the window and across the train tracks.

When it was getting close to 5, Kenny leisurely strolled down the street to Bebe's house. On his way there, he saw her parents drive past him in their Buick.

Kenny's "woo-hoo" was muffled under his parka. He finally arrived at Bebe's house and rang the doorbell.

"Kenny!" Bebe squealed, giving him a tight hug. Before he got the chance to hug back, Bebe pulled back and took his hand.

"Quickly! My room!" she said, whisking the blonde boy into the house. Up in her room, she took out her wallet and gave Kenny the $20.

"I would've given you $40," she admitted. "But I don't wanna get pregnant or anything."

"Fair enough." Kenny muffled, shrugging. Honestly, Kenny enjoyed eating Bebe out. It was a hell of a lot easier than taking an entire dick in your mouth and when she came (which took a shorter time than the boys) it wasn't like the white sticky stuff you had to force down. It was a weird light, clear liquid. It tasted kinda sweet. Kenny still didn't mind sucking dick though.

When they were finished, Bebe's cheeks were rosy and she was grinning from ear to ear.

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I was the first girl in the class to have sex!" She looked at Kenny and smiled sweetly. "Thanks, Ken."

Kenny couldn't be happier. "It was nothing." was all he said. They said their goodbyes and Kenny strolled on home.

Meanwhile, at the Stotches' home. Butters really had been grouneded for not closing the cereal box. Which frustrated Butters because not only was he not able to go out and look for loose change, but his parents refused to pay him his allowance at the end of this week. So, Butters decided he was gonna run away. Just for a day or two and find the money he needed to have Kenny touch him again. He believed that his sanity depended on it. So, he packed up some clothes and food, wrote a note for his parents, and was off on his quest to search for the remaining 4 dollars. His wiener depended on it.

**Author's Note: Alright, so that happened. It only gets stranger from here on out. Thanks for reading and stick around for next week's update.**


	5. Chapter 5: Stan

Chapter 5: Stan

Stan woke up Thursday morning, feeling slightly sweaty. It was hard for him to sleep last night because he was nervous about talking to Kenny later. He was worried about Kyle saying that "a quiet and calm environment" would make him come clean. What if it doesn't? What if he gets mad again? What if he accidently ruins their friendship?

Stan rubbed his face and groaned. He wish he'd agreed to talk to Kenny about it over the weekend because during the weekdays was not the time for this shit. Regardless, Stan rolled out of bed to get ready for school and Kenny.

Just as he finished dressing up, Stan heard his mother calling him from the kitchen. Stan sighed, grabbed his backpack and entered the kitchen to see a sobbing pair of Stotches.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stotch came by, wondering if you saw Butters recently." his mom, Sharon, informed him.

"Yes!" Mrs. Stotch cried out. "We went to get him up for school this morning! And when we opened the door...oh God!" she threw her arms around Mr. Stotch and started crying even harder.

"We opened the door and we-well, Butters wasn't in bed!" Mr. Stotch finished. "Have you seen Butters, Stan?"

Stan looked at the couple. They were an emotional wreck.

"Last time I saw Butters...he ran out of the cafeteria. Yelling at Kenny about money." Stan told them, leaving out the part with the wiener.

"I knew that McKormick boy was no good! Nothing but trouble!" Mrs. Stotch sobbed. Stan shifted uncomfortably. Not only did it make him feel bad to hear an adult say something like that about one of his friends, but it was partially true too.

"Stan, they said he left a note." Randy, Stan's father, spoke up. "Maybe you know what he's talking about in the letter."

Randy handed Stan the letter and he began to read it to himself carefully:

_"To whoever this may concern,_

_I've decided to run away for a couple of days in search of the four remaining bills so that I may reached the promised euphoria. I should be back by Wednesday! Or Thursday...depends._

_Well see ya!, Butters ✩"_

Afterwards, Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Goddammit Butters." he whispered.

"So? Do you know where he went?" Sharon asked her son.

"I-" Stan glanced at the ground. He felt like he had to tell them about Kenny's "possible" messing around, but he didn't want to put him in deep trouble or jump to conclusions or anything. "No." with that, Stan walked out the door. Behind him, he heard Mrs. Stotch's sobbing grow louder.

A little later on the bus to school, Stan decided now was the time to ask Kenny to come over after school. It was now or never. He guessed.

He took a deep breath. "Hey Kenny." Kenny turned around and his light blue eyes met Stan's dark blue ones.

"Hm?" was all he said from behind the orange hoodie.

"D-do you wanna come over today?" Stan felt sweat forming under his brown coat. He could feel a lot of pressure riding up on him. Mr and Mrs. Stotch dropping by earlier didn't help.

Kenny looked at Cartman next to him and Kyle adjacent from him. "Just me?" he muffled innocently.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Cartman and I are studying for a test tomorrow." Kyle huffed, looking down at his hands.

"Yeah." Cartman agreed. "'Study'" he made air quotes with his hands.

Kyle's head snapped up, his face suddenly red. "What are you implying?" he spat.

"Oh, nothing." Cartman hummed, shrugging. "It's just that last time you said you wanted to study, you ended up sucking a certain pair of balls."

Kenny started laughing like a maniac as Kyle began swinging his fists Cartman's way. Stan stood in between them, taking Kyle's blows like they were nothing. He was too used to this.

"So yeah. There's that." Stan finished, straining to smile. "Wanna come?"

Kenny squinted at Stan. _What is he playing at?_ he pondered. He might be asking him over to lecture him about his recent behavior or maybe...get in on it? Kenny decided to take that risk.

"Sure!" he beamed.

So, the school day came and went. Kenny got his usual stares and attention. Some of them even glared at Stan after Kenny told them that he was going home with daggers digging into back all day.

_Geez! I didn't know that so many people were after Kenny's ass! _Stan thought as he walked down the hall with him. Anyways, the two arrived at Stan's house and waved goodbye to Cartman and Kyle, who were to Kyle's place.

They went straight up to Stan's room and Kenny closed the door behind them.

"What was it that you wanted, Stan?" the clearness in Kenny's voice made Stan turn to face him. Stan didn't see Kenny without his hood on often and when he did, he remembered how pretty his face was.

Kenny was sitting straight up on his bed, swinging his now bootless legs, beaming a sickly sweet smile. He looked like he was expecting something. That was a giveaway for Stan.

"Uh, Kenny." Stan began, sitting at his desk, across from where his blonde companion was sitting. "I asked you over to ask you a serious question."

Kenny slowly closed his eyes, still swinging his legs. "Hm?" he hummed, still beaming.

"Cartman, Kyle, and I have noticed a change in you since Tuesday..." Kenny's eyes snapped open, his smile disappeared, and his legs came to a sudden halt.

Before Kenny could try and weasel his way out of the situation, Stan blurted, "Are you having sex with our classmates for money?"

It was silent for quite a while. Kenny didn't necessarily look guilty or upset. He seemed more like apathetic.

"Yeah." he finally answered, staring at the floor.

Stan took a deep breath. Yes, he was glad that he was making progress but he was disappointed that Kenny was doing this to himself. Not surprised, but disappointed nonetheless. He asked his next question carefully, "With who?"

Another short pause. "Butters. Craig, Clyde, Bebe." Kenny's voice got quieter with each name. "Token on Sunday." he whispered.

Stan was taken aback. Five people in a week. To him, that was a lot of people. "You...know that's illegal, right?" he asked slowly.

Kenny shrugged. "So what? Now I can actually afford some type of food for my family. And I like doing this."

Stan was growing irritated. "This doesn't _just _affect you or your family, Kenny. It affects _everyone _around you."

Kenny's face was still apathetic.

"Butters is missing, you know."

"What? Why?" Kenny asked, without his own consent. Stan walked across the room to the dresser drawer, pulled out Butters' letter, and handed it to Kenny. He scanned the letter quickly.

"His parents came by this morning, asking for Butters." Stan told him. "All he left was that letter."

"Oh, God." Kenny muttered. "You didn't say anything?! Did you?!" he asked, suddenly alarmed.

"No, no!" Stan said, shaking his head. "I said that I didn't know anything!"

There was more silence before Stan spoke. "So...what was Butters talking about in the letter?"

Kenny sighed and said, "After the first time we messed around, Butters really wanted to do it again, but he never had enough money. The last time I saw Butters, he had $6, and I told him it wasn't enough. He need four more dollars." Kenny furrowed his brow. "I knew he was off to get more money, but I never expected him to just up and leave, Dammit, Butters."

"Do your parents know?" Stan asked, not sure if it was a stupid question or not.

"No." Kenny shook his head. He grabbed Stan's arm. "Please don't tell any of our parents, or any adult! Not even Kyle or Cartman!" he was pleading now. "Kyle will go on one of those long lectures of his and Cartman will rip on me even more, or worse!" he remembered back to the time when they had seen a leprechaun in the forest and Cartman had taken Kyle to court for not sucking his balls. He shuddered. "Please don't tell." he finished.

Stan shook his head. "Sorry, Kenny. This is for your own good." he tried to stand up straight but Kenny held him in place.

"Oh no, no! Don't tell them!" Kenny was basically whining at this point. He was pulling Stan on top of him. "Don't tell." he kept saying.

_Shit! He's gonna try and bribe his way out! _Stan thought, his mind racing.

"Don't tell!"

It had been an hour since Kenny. He was so ashamed of himself. In the heat of the moment, he swore to Kenny that he'd never ever tell anyone. He rubbed his face and groaned. He wish he had Kyle tag along.

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Be on the look out for next week's chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6: Withdrawl

**Authors Note: I wanna thank those who actually have taken interest into my story and are looking forward to more. This one is kinda long and it makes a dramatic turn at the end but it will all come together in the very end. Enjoy!**

Chapter 6: Withdrawl

That chilly Wednesday morning, Stan was the first one to arrive at the bus stop. He couldn't sleep so well last night. A lot happened yesterday. Butters was still missing, Kenny was whoring around, and then in the middle of "fucking". Stan promised he wouldn't tell anyone. That meant lying to his best friend, Kyle. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. _Kenny, you motherfucking-_

"Hey Stan!" a familiar voice came, pulling him out of his thoughts. He jumped and looked to his left. It was his loyal red-haired companion, Kyle. Cartman was right behind him.

"Oh. Hey guys." Stan breathed, glad that Kenny wasn't with them.

"What's wrong? You seem a bit jumpy." Kyle cocked his head a little.

Stan shook his head. "Nothing. Just tired is all."

"So, is that whore, Kenny, the slut we've suspected?" Cartman questioned, stuffing the last of his breakfast muffin into his mouth.

"Umm-"

"Hey guys!" Kenny greeted as he approached the three boys.

Kyle and Cartman looked at each other. "Hey Kenny." they greeted, cautiously.

"Hi Kenny." Stan mumbled.

Kenny leaned forward to look over at his noir companion. He stared at his avoiding eyes. "Did you sleep well last night?"

Stan choked on his own spit and started coughing heavily. Cartman and Kyle gave him a strange look. "It was fine." he answered, trying not to blush.

Kenny smiled behind his hoodie. "I'm glad." was all he muffled. Kyle and Cartman could feel the weird vibe in the air and it made things a bit too awkward for them.

"What the fuck is going on?" Cartman mouthed to Kyle. The jew shrugged. The school bus came and they boarded it. The bus ride to school was pretty quiet. Kenny seemed so pleased with himself.

Later, during class, Kyle and Cartman hauled Stan off to the bathroom, leaving Kenny behind in the classroom.

"Dude. What the fuck is going on?" Kyle asked, closing the bathroom door behind them.

Stan broke out into a cold sweat and stared down at his black boots. "Nothing. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you think we're fucking stupid?" Cartman snapped. "Kenny asked you about last night. What happened when you guys got home?"

"We...we talked." Stan said, vaguely.

"So? Is Kenny a prostitute?" Kyle asked, making a serious face.

"I...I can't say."

"That means yes." Cartman concluded. Kyle nodded in agreement. Stan let out a deep breath. He didn't _tell _them. They just figured it out. Therefore, he didn't end up breaking any promises.

"Why did you promise him that you wouldn't tell?" Kyle looked pretty angry now.

"Because we-" he stopped mid sentence to check if anyone was in the stalls. Then, to be super safe, he whispered into Kyle's ear. "We touched dicks."

His friend pulled his head away and looked Stan in the face. It was flushed red and he had an embarrassed look on his face."Whoa." was all Kyle uttered. "Stan I- dude!"

"What?" Cartman asked impatiently.

"They..they fucked." Kyle answered him. Cartman's eyes grew wide.

"YOU PUT YOUR DICK IN HIS ASS?" Cartman shouted, causing Stan's face to go bright red.

"What? NO!" he shouted back. He felt sweat forming at the top of his forehead. "W-we just...touched dicks." he shyly admitted.

"Dude! That's still pretty fucking gay!"

"Says the guy who imagined me sucking his balls." Kyle chimed in.

Cartman's face turned a bright pink. "A bet is a bet, you fucking Jew!" he hollered at his grinning friend.

"I thought you liked girls." Kyle continued.

"I do..." Stan groaned. "B-but it just felt really nice and he pulled me on top of him and he was whispering to me a-"

"Holy fucking shit dude!" Cartman interrupted. " Kenny _seduced _you?"

Stan looked down at the ground.

"He must be...pretty good." Kyle stated.

Cartman burst out laughing. "Straight Stan Marsh fucked the school whore Kenny McKormick! Oh man! This is rich!"

"This is serious!" Kyle snapped at the larger boy. "This just shows how out of control Kenny's behavior is!" he put an arm around Stan, comforting him. "We've got to do something."

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. Kenny marched in, looking angry. Cartman tried stifling his laughter while Stan shot him a look.

"Oh! H-hey Kenny." Kyle greeted, nervously.

"You couldn't have just minded your own fucking business? Could you?" Kenny glared. "He had his backpack with him.

"Kenny. This has to stop." Stan spoke up.

Kenny stared at the three boys for a little bit then, reached into his pocket and pulled out a rifle gun.

"You just couldn't leave it alone!" Kenny saidm taking off his hood, revealing his pretty face.

"Jesus Christ!" Stan exclaimed, backing away from the blonde.

"What the fuck, Kinny?!" Cartman exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"Dude. Kenny. We just wanna help." Kyle said gently, taking a step towards Kenny.

"Take another step forward and you get a bullet to the head, Broflovski!" Kenny snapped. "You guys are fucking assholes. I'm just doing what I can to feed my family and you try to stop me? You want my little sister to starve? You want my brother to starve? You guys are fucking sick." His words were cold and harsh.

Stan gulped. "Kenny. We-we understand you wanting to make some money. But, this. Going around and having sex with everyone for money. It's just wrong."

"Yeah, it's illegal." Kyle added.

"I don't give a fuck if it's illegal!" Kenny shouted, stomping his foot down. "It's just..." he lowered his gun a little. "The only the thing I happen to be good at."

"It can't be. I know it's not." Kyle consoled. "We can help you, Kenny."

Kenny raised the gun again. "It's too late Kyle. I promised to give Kevin a blowjob in the bathroom during lunch and after school I'm goin' with Tweek. You can't stop this now the way things are going." He pulled the trigger. Nothing.

Kenny furrowed his brow and pulled the trigger again and again. "Oh what the Fuck?!" he glared at the gun, frustrated.

Cartman cackled loudly, mostly from relief, but also because he built up all that suspense for no reason.

"God! Kenny is so fucking poor, he can't even afford bullets!" he exclaimed, gasping for air.

Kenny's face turned a bright red and he threw the gun at Cartman. "Ow!" he whined.

"Ughh! Fuck you guys!" Kenny growled.

"We're doing this because we care." Kyle said, approaching his angry friend. He slung his arms around Kenny's shoulders "It's gonna be ok, Ken. We can find other ways to help you make money."

Kenny put his hood back on and started to sulk. "Don't touch me." he pouted.

Stan came and put his arm around Kenny's shoulders too. "Come on. We can all go to my house after school and brainstorm with you." he comforted.

"Ew." Kenny muffled. The two boys laughed at their pouting friend.

"Fuck you guys." Kenny muttered, smiling under his hoodie. Strange enough, Kenny forgave his friends and they forgave him. Later that day, Kenny promised his three friends that he would stop. At least until he was a little older. Kenny didn't really like the idea, but he compromised anyways. They also agreed to tell his parents what had been happening the next day...

"Are you guys sure?" Kenny gulped. He was afraid his parents were gonna beat the shit out of him. Either that or throw beer bottles at him.

Kyle patted the blond's shoulders. "You're gonna be fine." he assured. "We'll be right here."

The four boys were standing outside of the McKormick house and Kenny was working up the courage to face them. They could already hear beer bottles smashing and yelling from the other side of the door.

Stan held up a gloved fist and knocked on the door. The shattering and yelling stopped suddenly. They heard someone whispering and then the door opened, 4 to 5 dogs ran out as it did. Cartman glared at Kenny. _Kenny you motherfucking rat. _he thought, disgusted. His mother, Carol, was at the door.

"Well hello, sweetheart. I see you've brought some friends home." she said, in a super sweet tone.

"Hi, Mrs. McKormick." Kyle greeted politely. "Can we just have a moment of your time? We'd like to talk to you and Mr. McKormick."

Carol gave them a strange look. "Uh, sure. Come on in."

They strolled in and took their seats on the McKormick's small couch.

"Stuart, Kenny and his little friends have something they'd like to say." Carol told her husband.

"What's the deal, kids?" he asked, discarding his beer bottle like a civil person.

Kenny gulped and tried to hide his face even more behind the thick hood. He could feel his heart thundering in his chest.

Kyle cleared his throat. "Mr and Mrs. McKormick I'm very sure that you two have raised Kenny with only the best morals an-"

"Kenny's a prostitute." Cartman interrupted.

"Dude!" Stan barked.

"Oh my God!" Carol exclaimed, wide eyed.

"Kenny? Is this true?" Stuart was sporting an angry expression.

Kenny was staring down at his black mittens. He nodded slowly.

Carol marched over to Kenny and yanked him off of the couch.

"You ungrateful piece of shit!" she spat. "You were just gonna spend all of that goddamn money on yourself?!"

Stan and Kyle were stunned. Cartman, on the other hand, expected no less from this penny-less, dysfunctional, white trash family.

"Wait, wh-what?" Stan stuttered.

Kenny yanked his arm away. "I got some McDonald's for Kevin, Karen, and I."

"We need to eat too!" Stuart argued, snatching Kenny's other arm.

"You were just gonna waste it on beer and shit!" Kenny muffled, struggling against his father's grip.

"Whoa, whoa. Wait." Kyle said, coming to Kenny's side. "You're more concerned with the fact that your son isn't spending the money on you than you are about him prostituting himself?"

Carol and Stuart looked at each other. "Uh, yeah. That too." Stuart added.

"You're grounded, you son of a whore!" Carol paused. "I mean, Kenny!"

Kenny started rambling behind his hoodie, shouting something angrily. Then he turned to his friends and muttered, "Thanks for nothing." He was mostly glaring at Cartman. He just shrugged in response. Kenny turned again and stomped up the stairs.

Carol sighed and turned to the three boys. "I want to thank you boys so much for looking after our little Kenny. He can be such a handful sometimes."

They heard Kenny yell something from his room. "YOU SHUT UP AND STAY IN YOUR ROOM!" his mother hollered back at him. She brushed a red strand out of her face. "We're just so glad we have nice boys like you to look over our precious baby boy."

The three companions looked at each other. "Sure. No problem." Stan answered. And they left the house right after. As soon as they closed the door, the sound of smashing beer bottles continued.

"Well, I think that went well." Cartman concluded.

"Yeah..." Kyle said. "But. I can't help but feel bad for Kenny." Stan nodded in agreement.

"Slut had what was coming to him." Cartman retorted.

The nest day was Friday and Kenny didn't appear at school. So, the boys took their homework to Kenny's house after school.

"Kenny!" Kyle whispered, tapping on his window. "Kenny! We brought you the homework!"

In no time, Kenny opened the cracked window. He wasn't wearing his usual orange parka. We was wearing a white T-shirt with grey sweatpants. "Hey guys." he whispered back. "My parents are passed out on the couch downstairs. Come in."

The boys swiftly climbed through the window, except for Cartman. "Help me, you assholes!" he growled at them.

Stan and Kyle proceeded to help their large friend through the window while Kenny was shushing them from behind.

"Here's the homework, dude." Stan said, handing it to him.

"Thanks..." he muttered. "Is..." Kenny took a deep breath. "Is Butters back?"

"No. Not yet." Kyle answered.

Kenny sighed deeply.

"What, you actually care for that ass pussy?" Cartman snorted, stuffing cheesy poofs in his face.

"No. I don't give a fuck..." Kenny lied, quietly. Butters. Sweet little Butters Stotch was missing. He let out a little cough.

"He said he would be back by Thursday though." Stan spoke up. Kenny felt a huge twang of guilt. He couldn't help but worry about where he was, what was doing if he was still...you know. Alive. Kenny sighed again and shook his head, pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind.

The boys began to do their homework together.

Over the next few days, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman continued to visit Kenny, who seemed to be getting paler and paler each day. Soon, coughing racked his small frame.

"Dude. Kenny. Are you alright?" Stan asked him, on Monday.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kenny lied. "Just a bit of a cold." he started coughing again.

"Ugh! Don't cough on me Kenny!" Cartman snapped, wiping imaginary spit off of his face.

"Sorry man." Kenny apologized, weakly.

"Dude. You should lie down." Kyle said, laying Kenny down on his bed.

"I'm fine." The blond lied again. He was shivering a little. Kyle took off his green glove and put a hand to Kenny's forehead.

"You're burning up!" Kyle said, pulling his hand away. He pulled the blanket up to Kenny's chin and tucked him in gently.

"Rest man." Stan said, rubbing one of Kenny's shoulders gently. Kyle did the same while Cartman pulled out a doughnut. Gentle touch of his friends soothed Kenny to sleep. A little after Kenny had dozed off, they heard a low rumble.

"...The Fuck was that?" Cartman asked.

"Probably a mini earthquake or something." Stan shrugged. Afterwards, the boys headed on home.

The nest day, Tuesday, the boys headed over to Kenny's place for their daily visit. "Dude, did you hear all of that rumbling last night?" Kyle asked his friends.

"No." Cartman replied, chewing on gummy worms. He's a heavy sleeper.

"I did. But, I was able to fall asleep eventually." Stan said.

They arrived at the McKormick's home and they tapped at Kenny's window.

"Kenny!" Stan whispered. No answer.

"Kenny. We brought the homework!" Kyle hissed. Still no answer.

"Open your fucking window, Kinny!" Cartman shouted. _Still _no answer. Concerned, the boys knocked on the front door. Stuart answered it. "Yeah?"

"Hi. Is Kenny here?" Kyle asked.

Stuart scratched the back of his head. "Uh, yeah. Kenny isn't doing too well. He was up all night coughing and vomitting. He's asleep now."

Worry was written all over their faces. "Oh." was all they said.

Carol came to the door. "I"m sorry, boys. Kenny needs his rest right now. But, you can come back and play as soon as he's better."

"Ok." Stan said, solemnly and the three turned and left, with their moods low.

"Man. I didn't think it was so bad." Stan said, quietly.

"Poor Kinny." Cartman agreed.

"Don't worry, guys." I'm sure he'll get better." Kyle reassured. But that didn't help lift the mood at all. The entire last week had been hell. Butters is _still _missing, Kenny is gravely ill, and all the kids at school are after their throats because they have Kenny release their sexual cravings or whatever and getting him grounded. Things could not get any worse. Or...so they thought.

In South Park, after all of the townspeople had fallen asleep, the earth started shaking violently. At the Broflovski's house, Kyle had fallen out of bed.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed. "What the fuck is going on?" he ran to the window, best as he could and saw complete chaos.

The buildings were collapsing, there was thunder and lightning everywhere, and the volcano near by was emitting smoke, signaling that it was close to erupting.

"Oh, my God." Kyle whispered to himself. South Park was collapsing. It was ending.

**Authors Note: See? I bet y'all weren't expecting that! All will be explained in the next and concluding chapter! (With some bonus chapters afterwards.) Look forward to it next week! And thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7: Butters

**Authors Note: Final chapter! Thanks to those that stuck the whole way through! Bonus chapters to come!**

Chapter 7: Butters

Kyle tumbled towards his door, trying to avoid the debris falling from the ceiling. He opened it and found his mom, dad, and Ike in the hallway.

"Come on, Kyle! We've got to get out of here!" his mother exclaimed, grabbing him. The rushed down the stairs and out the front door. The streets were in complete chaos. People where running every which way as the ground continued to quiver and shake, and thunder and lightning continued to rain down.

As the Broflovski family made their way to the community center, Kyle spotted Stan. "You guys go on with out me!" Kyle hollered over the loud rumbling. "I'm going with Stan!"

Before they hade the chance to protest, Kyle disappeared into the crowd. He grabbed the noir's arm. "Stan!" he said, capturing Stan's attention.

"Kyle! What the fuck is happening?!" Stan asked, sheer panic in his voice.

"I don't know!" Kyle replied.

"Get the fuck out of my way!" they heard someone holler. They turned and saw Cartman plowing through the crowd on that monster he calls a bike. He was wearing sunglasses and had a fake cigar in his mouth. "What's up pussies?" he asked, nonchalantly.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Stan asked, wondering how he could be so chill in this situation.

Cartman flipped up his sunglasses, revealing his mud puddle eyes. "Gotta look cool for the apocalypse." he stated.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Come on, we've got to find Kenny." The boys went off to search for their sick friend admist all of the chaos. He nor his family was nowhere to be found. So, they dashed down the street toward the McKormick's house. When they got there...it was surrounded by lava and up on a hill.

"When did that hill get there?" Cartman asked, standing from his bike.

"Jesus Christ!" Stan gasped. "Kenny!"

The ground rumbled more violently. "Shit!" Cartman cursed, falling over.

"Look!" Kyle was pointing upwards and the other two boys looked up. It was...Jesus?

"Jesus?" Stan asked, startled.

Jesus walked right over to Stan and kicked him in the gut. "What were you boys thinking?!" he shouted.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Stan yelled back, doubled over in pain.

"Why did you boys tell Kenny to stop having sex?!"

The boys stared at each other. "What?!" Kyle exclaimed. "What does that have to do with anything?!" Jesus punched Kyle upside his head. "The fuck?!" Kyle shouted in pain.

"Don't you boys know anything?!" Jesus was still yelling. "You don't mess with the title of a god!"

"We're not messing with your title!" Cartman shouted back.

"Not mine, you idiot!" Jesus pointed to the house on top of the hill. "Kenny!"

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman stared at Jesus, at the house, then back at Jesus again.

"Kenny..." Stan began.

"...is a god?" Kyle finished.

"Yeah." Jesus said, putting his hands on his hips. "Ever since you told Kenny to stop having sex, he became weaker. Now, he's going to die!"

They were silent for a bit. "You're not serious." Cartman said, with a nervous grin.

"If I wasn't serious, you seriously think I'd come down from heaven in this post apocalyptic enviroment just to pull your leg?" he snapped.

"So, let me get this straight." Stan said, slowly. "You're telling me, that Kenny, Kenny McKormick, our Kenny, is the god of sex or something."

"Yes! He has a shrine in Greece and everything!" Jesus said, irritated. "Now, you must hurry! There isn't much time! If Kenny doesn't have sex with someone soon, the entire west hemisphere is gonna end!"

"Well, I- wow. The entire west hemisphere? Well, I'm not gonna do it!" Stan declared.

"Neither am I! I'm not a fag!" Cartman rebutted.

"Look, you three can decide among yourselves. But, just choose someone quick before it's too late!" with that, Jesus disappeared.

The boys were silent for a long while. "Wow." was all Stan said.

Cartman clapped his hands together and said, "Well. It looks like one of you fags are sucking dick."

"I'm not doing it!" Kyle said, immdiately.

"Me neither!" Stan agreed.

"Then how the fuck are we gonna save the west hemisphere now?!" Cartman screamed, stomping his foot against the cracked pavement. Suddenly, they heard a loud horn blare. They turned and saw a big black truck come speeding around the corner of the street and screeched to a stop right in front of the three friends.

They gave the vehicle a curious look as a small girl, around their age, stepped out of it. She beamed at them.

"Hey fellas!"

It struck them like lightning.

"Butters?!" Stan shouted, not expecting that. Butters couldn't have come back at a worse time.

"Boy, this place sure has gone downhill." Butters said, looking around at the lightning and magma.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Kyle asked. Butters was wearing a white dress that stopped at the middle of his shins. He was wearing his old Marjorine wig of his, and had a little bif of make up on his face.

"Oh man. I sure did have to go through a lot these past few days." Butters said, still smiling. He then reached into his pick purse and pulled out $4. "But, I got the money!"

"That's not important right now!" Stan said, taking the blond's shoulders. "We've got to get up there!" he pointed up at Kenny's house. "So, we can save Kenny."

Butters cocked his head at the house on the hill. "Oh, a-alright. I'll just ask Octavio to get us up there." he turned back to the pick up truck.

Cartman raised an eyebrow. "Octavio?" he asked.

Butters began to climb back into the black truck. "Come on guys!" he said, waving a hand, signaling them to come aboard. They shrugged their shoulders at each other and hopped into the truck. There was a Mexican man at the wheel. That must've been Octavio.

"Where are we going, Senor Butters?" he asked in a thick accent.

Butters stared at the side mirror of the car, making sure his make up was ok. "We've got to get up there and save our pal, Kenny!" he answered, adjusting his wig.

"Got it." Octavio nodded. He turned to face the bewildred kids, squished in the back. "Hang on, _eses._" Then he slammed on the accelerator.

"Fuck!" Cartman spat, as his head hit the back of the truck seat. Octavio was speeding right for a random ramp over the lava.

"Holy fuck!" Stan gasped, clutching the poliester seats.

"We're not gonna make it!" Kyle whimpered, covering his eyes. The truck went soaring through the air and landed harshly on the hill.

"That was easy..."Cartman muttered.

Stan put his hand on Butters' shoulder. "Ok, Butters. You're gonna go in there and this is what you're gonna do." he leaned forward and whispered in the blonds ear.

Butters' face turned a bright pink. "Whoa! R-really?" Stan just nodded. "O-ok. If you say so." he unbuckled his seat belt and climbed out. He cautiously entered the McKormick home. Carol and Stuart were passed out on the couch, completely oblivious to what was happening around them.

"Kenny?" he whispered, as he tip-toed up the stairs. "Kenny?"

"B...Butters?" he barely heard his dying friend. Butters entered his room and saw the source of all of this chaos. Kenny was laying there, almost completely white, his once golden hair was now a bleach- looking blond. Even wilder and messier than normal. He was trembling and shuddering violently. "You're back." he wheezed, trying to smile.

"Hey there, buddy." Butters said, petting Kenny's head. "Everything is gonna be ok."

"Butters...I'm so-" Butters' cut him off.

"You don't have to apologize Kenny." he rubbed his friend's shoulders. He slid his hands down Kenny's torso. Kenny's trembling and shuddering slightly subsided under Butter's touch.

Butters reached for Kenny's sweatpants. "Don't worry Kenny." Butters said, kneeling at the end of the bed. "You'll feel all better soon."

A few minutes later, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were still waiting outside. The earthquakes have gotten more and more violent.

"I don't think we have much more time!" Kyle shouted, tumbling to the ground.

Catman's face turned a bright red as he stumbled towards the house. "Goddammit! Kenny if you don't hurry the fuck up and we all die, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Suddenly, the rumbling stopped and everything went quiet. The boys looked around cautiously. The sky opened up above them, revealing the blue sky, and suddenly the hill started to descend back to the ground at a fast pace and screamed their lungs out, clinging to each other, as they descended down to the lava. The ground stopped suddenly, which made it feel like their organs were squashed. The magma surrounding the house was swallowed up by the ground and the thunder and lightning had ceased.

"Oh...my head..." Stan groaned.

Then the boys gasped and whispered, "Kenny!" They stampeded into the house and rushed across the living room. The sound of them stomping the around stirred Carol and Stuart. Octavio just casually follwoed behind them. They entered Kenny's room and found Butters kneeling next to a perfectly healthy and happy, Kenny McKormick.

"Kenny!" the boys cheered, running to his side.

"How are you feeling dude?" Kyle asked him.

"I feel like a whole new me!" Kenny beamed. "Butters gave me the best blowjob of my life!" Butters look away, sheepishly.

"Well, he had to or the world would've ended." Cartman added.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Everyone was now gathered in Kenny's room, relieved to see him healthy and smiling.

"Man. That was fucking nuts." Stan stated.

"Yeah, but you know? I learned something today." Kyle began. "Your sex life is your own buisness and nobody else's. Whether you do it for fun or with someone you just met, or whatever, what you do behind closed doors is your own personal buisness and it's meant to stay behind closed doors for a reason. So, if you what someone does, doesn't really affect us, then we should just leave it alone. We really have no reason to know about something as personal as someone's sex life."

"But, seriously, Kenny. No more prostituting." Stan added.

"Ok..." Kenny agreed.

"What? Then what am I suppossed to to do with these extra $4?" Butters asked, a bit disappointed.

"I'll take that." Stuart said, taking the money from him. Kenny gave his father an irritated look.

Cartman looked at Kenny and then rolled his eyes. "God, Kenny. You're such a fucking whore!"

END!

**Authors Note: I know it got a bit weird and OOC-ish at the end, but I hope you enjoyed it! The bonus chapters will be a bit more NSFW-ish and be in the M section I think. So, look forward to that! Thanks so much for reading once again!**


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